OUR MOVIES
Jimmy Bond Trailer: Jimmy Bond is obviously a spoof on James Bond, me and Matt's first project for film class, and it was me Matt and my friend Jeremiah over two days of shooting, thrown together to resemble what we wanted the film to look like. In the trailer, I meet Jeremiah at a big field, where I proceed to kill him and that's pretty much it. We have music and good timing though, and it's probably one of the best things we've ever done, considering how unprepared we were.
Jimmy Bond: Jimmy Bond the movie was nothing like the trailer. Sure, I reprised my role as Jimmy and Matt was there as several assassins I killed, but the movie ended up being way too complicated, with too many characters and too many scenes where absolutely nothing happened. It ran on way too long also. But it had some good points, mainly the end and the action sequences.
Jimmy Bond 2: A movie like Jimmy Bond certainly didn't need a sequel, but here's one anyways. Jimmy is back, fighting more bad guys, this time a bored and pointless droning guy and his little Mexican henchman. Actually quite a bit better then the first, this film featured our first real action sequence, and also quite a bit of convincing dialogue.
Jimmy Bond 3: Jimmy is becoming paranoid about a man who appears to be following him. Against his better judgement, Jimmy decides to grab this guy off the street and find out what's really going on.
Jimmy Bond 4: In the fourth and hopefully final Jimmy Bond, we find Jimmy hunting down a bad guy from the first movie, who somehow survived and is now holding hostages out in the woods. jimmy must face his hardest challenge yet, and save the hostages before this madman decides to kill them.
Lunch: Lunch is a documentary style look at what Matt and I did during the half hour between classes in a regular school day. We meet up with other students, sit in a corner and listen to music, bother our teachers, discuss current relevent issues and even get a little bit of food in this insightful film.
Lemming: After a long day at school, a student decides he's had enough, he leaves his friends and his backpack, and starts walking. His destination is the ocean, where he jumps in. This film realistically consisted of about 10 shots, but it was a cool day of driving around with Matt's dad.
Hateful: A student in high school has had enough. He is forced to go to class with another student who he absolutely hates. Not only that, but to him it seems everything this guy does, even a simple smile, is something done to annoy him even more. One day he decides to go confront his nemesis.
The Carrillo Redemption: Matt took lead role as a prisoner in a jail-like high school in this story of hope, fear, and one man's will to escape. Despite another inmate trying to talk him out of it, Matt tries for an escape from this seemingly inescapable prison.
Fear and Loathing in Rincon Valley: In our first unfinished film, because of the heavy drug content our film study teacher didn't want in our movie, I played a private detective who was trying to find a criminal in Rincon Valley.
The Dork Movie: Originally supposed to be an in-depth look at nerds and how they live, this was changed a bit to become the story of an antisocial young man with no future and no friends who, after remembering an old high school friend he had, decides to try and break out of his shell.
-Theo
SAM NIELL AND FILM TALK
Being filmmakers is not
something that just crops up out of nowhere. A person can't just
"decide" to be a filmmaker, it's in a persons blood, programmed if you
will. You either have the bug or you don't. It is thrust upon you
before you realize your own existance, it is the sticky and staining
afterbirth that you lay drenched in on boiled sheets. And I have to
say, Theo and I are filmmakers.
All great directors have their coveted list of films they wished
they had made, the ones that they paid admission to see among the
seething masses. Theo's personal movie "to end all movies" is
Independence Day [or ID4 to an ultra-fan] and mine is the original
Jurassic Park. These films go great with any side dish, vermouth or
antipasto. These two films belong in every home emergency kit, every
video library, every shelf ever fashioned, every public library ever
built. These movies are the stuff that dreams are made of. Like any
great obsession, Theo and I have naturally memorized the entire plots
of both films.
Now I gotta talk about a little hero of mine named Sam Niell.
Perhaps you've heard of him??? How can one stare into Sam Niell's eyes
and not see an immediate sense of overbearing strength. He is one of
cinema's lost children, born to perform, a real crab cake. Notice how
he holds his impossible composure within inches of a live T-Rex. Also
note that in the scene before the T-Rex breaks out, he is the only one
to know to capture the falling rain in his canteen. Not even Goldblum
can match Niell's absurd level of intelligence. Sam Niell is never
phased by the prehistoric beasts simply because of the fact that he
KNOWS they are computer generated. One of Hollywood's last great
Badasses, Niell is kind of like a concoction of smooth sherry poured
over shards of broken glass. [Don't actually make this drink]. He
will always be the eight ball you accidentally sink trying to beat
your auto mechanic into replacing your alternator for free but instead
paying him to do fucking nothing. Sam's (I think I reserve the right
to refer on a first name basis) glory will cascade down through the
ages as Jurassic Park eventually ferments into a loaf of pure comfort.
Niell's bright glow is similar to a sloppy cinnamon bun, its sweet goo
will drip from your fingers all the way down your jeans leaving a trail
of good memories. This sugary sap is his love juice, a physical
representation of his passion of not acting, but being. This rare sap
is sometimes collected in the palms of other hungry actors hoping to
soar to just a fraction of Niell's height. Actors even go as far as to
look like him, such as Treat Williams' drastic 1996 face surgery in a
pathetic attempt to emulate the real thing. Nice try Treat, what kind
of name is that anyway?
-Matt
KYLE MacLACHLAN
When I originally saw the film Dune, I had no idea who Myle MacLachlan was. I knew that I hadn't seen any of the actors before, except of course for Patrick Stewart, who plays Gurney. I knew him from Star Trek. But other than that, I was clueless. But I did know that he was good. I knew whoever was in the lead role was a young master of acting, a future academy award winner. And though he has yet to earn an academy award, in my book he earns one every year. Kyle MacLachlan in an unending sea of talent in an otherwise desert world. Some would say MacLachlan is like an oyster, the worlds biggest oyster, and inside, the worlds biggest pearl. I say he is that pearl. Blue Velvet, Showgirls, Twin Peaks, and so many more films he's been in have just been made so much better since he was in them. Kyle was discovered by David Lynch, and being in two of Lynch's films and Lynch's TV series Twin Peaks (but not in the train-wreck Fire Walk With Me) is more than most actors could say. Laura Dern may have one-upped him there, but come on. Kyle is the one with the talent. Paul Verhoeven knows it, David Cronenbeg knows it. Kyle MacLachlan, God, you all know it. SO my point is simple, it's time Kyle got whats coming to him. Recognition is not something that I give to everyone, people have to sweat, work, grovel for my approval, and sometimes that is not even enough. But upon seeing Kyle MacLachlan look into the camera and say "Arakis" I knew he was a winner, the real deal. As far as actors go he rivals the all time greats of the film universe. Peter Weller, Casper Van Dien, Kyle MacLachlan, Sam Niell, Rutger Hauer, they all deserve their own statues of gold hung high with the heroes of our world. They all deserve their own following and recognition, their own place bookmarked in the annals of history. People need to look back and recognize what Kyle MacLachlan did for our culture, our civilization, for us ourselves. Adn he really should get an Academy Award. I think the only reason he has yet to earn one is because like me, many people consider him above that. He's his own person, and rather than parade him around like the celebrity of the week people would rather have him held in a place much higher than that. Somewhere closer to martyr status in respect. For indeed, a little of him has died on camera, I feel every time I watch a performance of his I see that character die when the movie ends, and thus a little of Kyle MacLachlan die.
Theo
